


Tea or Coffee?

by Shi_no_tamashii



Category: Penn & Teller RPF
Genre: F/M, mentions of coffee...and tea...obviously, request by hollywoodvampires, short innocent fic, teller has a crush
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-31
Updated: 2018-08-31
Packaged: 2019-07-05 03:10:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15855024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shi_no_tamashii/pseuds/Shi_no_tamashii
Summary: Request by Hollywoodvampires on Tumblr: Teller has a crush on the new host of Fool Us and flirts with her. Obviously silently during the show and talks after.





	Tea or Coffee?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Hollywoodvampires](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Hollywoodvampires).



> I hope you're doing well at school ;) Here's something do distract you ^_^
> 
> Also, sorry if this doesn't live up to your expectations.  
> I'm not used to writing fics where almost nothing happens. But it's a great exercise nonetheless, so thank you for that.

Penn and Teller were master magicians, but most people familiar with the art and profession of 'deceiving people' already knew this. Alyson, who'd known them from before their current show, Fool Us, was excited when she was asked to be season three's show host. Reminded by Penn of the phone call she'd received and the lack of an immediate response from her would always be the main topic in the green room before any episode was shot. The performers were always laughing, though most were too nervous to even concentrate on what Penn was saying. Surprisingly, there were a few who happily laughed along, unfazed by the big names in their midst. Because sure enough, they were all just human beings. It wasn't until she caught Teller's well-hidden glances when she started to suspect something. She'd learned to be weary around the magic duo, she was never prepared for the subtle hints they'd give each other until it was too late. They loved fooling around, excuse the pun.

"Alyson." A member of the crew came into the room. This was her cue, she cast Teller a glance, telling him she knew he was onto something. However, as she stood, she stayed oblivious to the confused blue eyes that followed her out of the room.

Penn went for the door soon after, knowing they should be following close behind.

"Good luck, everyone." Teller said as he followed his tall companion. Both men waited for Alyson to finish her usual introduction. Not that Teller ever listened to her words, he was too focused on the steady sound of her voice. It sounded so full and warm.

"I like the hairdresser." Penn suddenly said. Teller just looked at him, unsure if he should nod along or not. Deciding against the former since he wasn't in the mood, he calmly shrugged before replying to Penn's declaration,

"Sure, but he's only here for the publicity." He said in all honesty. He felt Penn's eyes boring into him, but choose to ignore it. He would see, Teller concluded.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, Penn and Teller!" Together, they made their way onto the stage. As was standard procedure, Teller shook Alyson's hand as in greeting. Lingering slightly longer than was necessary. Come to think of it, he had free play now. He could throw it all out there and make it appear as if he was just doing it for comedy's sake. So when he brought Alyson's hand up to his mouth for a kiss, he could safely state that it wasn't for his own selfish reasons. It earned a few laughs after all. He stepped back, smiling as Alyson just giggled, a little puzzled as the noise sounded; there was no harm done.

"Thank you Teller." She said with a playful frown. Penn just smiled as he shook her hand with a firm nod. Standing in front of the towering man, Teller felt truly content with himself. He turned to Alyson as she spoke to Penn. "Are you guys ready for tonight's guests?" She asked. Teller was still smiling, but he was adding in extra visible movements with his eyebrows as if suggesting something only they would understand. From the audience' perspective at least. Alyson only laughed when he finally caught her attention.

"Absolutely." Penn merely said, not sparing him a glance. Oh, Penn knew to expect much about everything by now. They didn't even question one another anymore when laughter suddenly sounded from somewhere around them.

"Well, take a seat." She gestured towards the two leather sofas and off they went.

Teller tried to pay attention to the act of Jason Williams, but since he already had an inkling on how it would end, he dared a few glances towards the redhead seated on the high chair off on the other side of the stage. A better improvement since the last host. Not that Jonathan wasn't fun to mess around with. He sure had golden humor. But Alyson, Alyson was both beautiful and easy to stun into mesmerized silence. So Teller did what he always did. He started fooling around. He started adjusting his bow tie, all the while without taking his eyes off of her. Penn was sitting next to him, gasping at what Jason was doing so he allowed his eyes to wander off towards the act. Jason was busy getting a shoe of an innocent audience member stuck in glass, so he wasn't paying attention to neither him or Penn. Alyson finally noticed his fumbling and frowned questioningly. He smiled broadly, but quickly relaxed his facial expressions when he saw the cameras switch from Jason to Penn and himself. He was still holding his bowtie though, playing with the soft fabric.

"Thank you for your attention!" Jason said, bowing the classic magician's bow, taking his hat off as well.

"That was amazing! Is your shoe okay, miss?" Alyson asked the woman whose shoe had been victimized only just moments ago.

"Yes yes." The woman confirmed, sitting back. Penn had turned to him, waiting for him to explain his observations.

"So what do you think?" He asked, effectively gaining his attention.

"It was nice and smooth." Teller said, still clutching at his tie. His notebook was blank though. He looked a little thoughtful for a moment, willing Alyson's voice further away and into the background for the moment. He held up a finger, signaling Penn to allow him a moment of concentration while he started sketching out his idea of how the trick had probably been performed. Penn was looking at his fingers, but he was used to it. "Something like this, I'd say." Teller murmured quietly, holding up his notebook.

"Like the coin guy? But you can't palm a shoe." Penn said matter of factly, studying Teller's drawing. Teller just added another circle to the drawing and Penn's realization hit. "That does make sense, yes." He said contemplatively.

"Boys?" Alyson's voice swam back towards them.

"Jason, I really liked it. It was smooth and I believe that you had real glass up there and I'm positive it hasn't been voluntarily been broken either. Assuming it is. Now we all know sleight of hand wouldn't quite work with an object as big as a shoe." Penn started. They've had people perform similar acts before, making Penn question Jason if he had been watching the show.

"I have, but I haven't seen every episode, no." Jason answered. Penn nodded in understanding.

"A yes and a no than?" Penn asked with a smile. Jason nodded in affirmation. "I do believe, Jason, and listen carefully. I do believe, no let me rephrase that, Teller believes that that's not just a box made of glass with four sides." Penn said. Jason moved his head, signaling he hesitantly agreed with Penn's words.

"You're satisfied that they know how you did it?" Alyson asked, directing Teller's attention back to her.

"Yes, I did not fool them." Jason said. Alyson pouted sympathetically, applauding for him as he left the stage.

"That was Jason Williams, sadly, he did not fool Penn and Teller, but the next performer might have better luck. I'll see you in two minutes after the break." Alyson said, waiting for a cue to signal the cameras had stopped. As soon as an arm came up behind camera one, she walked up to them. Teller smiled welcoming.

"Is it me or was that a Deja vu?" She asked. Penn huffed in acknowledgement, taking out his phone to check on any missed notifications. Sensing the perfect opportunity, Teller slapped his lap, gesturing with his hands for her to sit down. She did, laughing once. "Am I not too heavy?" She asked feigning a grimace in his stead.

"No." He said before bringing his hands around her. "Not at all." He hugged her back, feeling her spine on his cheek. A few audience members were laughing at them, but he paid them no heed. Instead, he fed them with an extra pat on her shoulder.

"I'm sensing someone hasn't gotten his cuddles today." She joked for the sake of masking her slightly disconcerted awkwardness as she got up to take her place on the stage. Teller just waved at her, amusing the audience a little more. Alyson just shook her head at him.

"That's sex deprived men for you." Penn told her, his booming voice doing nothing more than confuse a great deal of people who hadn't been focused on them. Penn tucked his phone into his breast pocket, while Teller nodded, arching his eyebrows again to make Penn's words really sink in.

"Oh, I thought I felt two healthy hands there." She smirked smugly, obviously proud of herself. Teller looked down at his hands and shrugged. Fair enough. "Welcome back to Penn and Teller's Fool Us!" She started. In between acts, Teller got to prove that the hairdresser was indeed seeking attention, promoting his salon all through the video and using its name too often for anyone's likening. Even Penn started to get agitated. He was fidgeting with his pen, turning it this way and that. Teller decided to start drawing, trusting Penn to dissect the classic trick that was being performed. He drew a tea pot. Random, some might say. Purposeful, he would defend. He wasn't a particularly skilled artist, or so he would argue. He was proud with the finished project though. So when the next break was signaled, he held up his drawing for Alyson to see. She looked impressed. He held up his hand, mouthing "wait". He started scribbling something on another sheet of paper from his notebook, Penn just looking at them from the sidelines. Teller showed his next creation. A word. "OR"

"Let me see." Penn said, making Teller turn the page to the tea pot and then back to the word "OR". He quickly started drawing again, this time making sure to shade it a little more so it would be obvious as to what it was. When he was finished, so was the break. Penn took a glance and laughed. "Beans?" He questioned.

"Not just any beans." Teller whispered, placing a finger to mark the page.

"Next up is Hiroaki Luong!" Alyson announced and the video started playing. He held up the notebook, his movement and the sudden appearance of a white object made her look over. "Beans?" She mouthed towards him in confusion. Teller shook his head and gestured with his hand to continue guessing. "Marbles?" She asked utterly confused now. He looked surprised and turned towards his drawing, these were extremely deformed marbles. He blinked a few times before deciding he should just wait.

It was a long wait, but it paid out. Hiroaki was a great magician and actually managed to fool them. That, or he'd been too distracted by his temporary assistant, Alyson Hannigan.

The rest of the show went by in a blur. The act they were about to perform was one of the many tricks they did on a regular basis in Las Vegas. A resounding applause later and Teller found himself walking backstage towards the greenroom. Strange, when had that happened? Instead of lurking around Penn and the performers, he stayed in the corridor with his notebook.

"Can I see it now?" Alyson suddenly asked from behind him. Teller turned around and gave her the notebook. She flipped from the tea pot to the word and then to the drawing she could only decipher as being beans.

"So?" Teller asked curiously.

"Oh! Coffee beans? Tea or coffee?" She guessed with a self-satisfied smile.

"Coffee! Thank you, when do you have time?" Teller asked, taking his book while Alyson looked on in stumped amazement at what just happened.

"Err…uh, tomorrow noon?" She proposed to which he happily agreed with a nod. Did that just really happen? Both were floating when they entered the greenroom, being greeted by a knowing smirk from Penn did nothing to bring them back down either. Quite the opposite, it seemed to give them a fleeting feeling of fulfilled contentment until the performers' excitement bore through their ears, alerting them of their presence.

Teller liked coffee, he decided the following day. Especially the company that went along with said coffee.


End file.
